1.Name
zcc - Zurich Computer Club
2.Meetings
We meet every Thursday at 7pm in Room ###. Probably. The room number is rotated weekly via a one-time pad distributed in person, by hand, in a sealed envelope that must be eaten after reading.
3.What we do
Members arrive having powered down their phones at least 2 miles from the venue, removed the batteries, and placed them in a Faraday bag, which is itself placed inside a second Faraday bag in case the first one is compromised. Phones without removable batteries are not welcome. Neither, frankly, are their owners.
Each meeting opens with the ceremonial Taping of the Webcams, followed by the Taping of the Microphones, followed by a lengthy debate about whether the tape manufacturer can be trusted. We are currently on our fourteenth brand of tape.
Our main activities include:
- Running every operating system from a live USB that is wiped after use. Our club laptops have never once remembered anything, which has made the club accounts difficult. We stopped keeping minutes in 2019 after a member pointed out that minutes are, technically, logs.
- Browsing the web over Tor, through a VPN, through a second VPN registered in a country none of us can locate on a map. Pages take roughly four minutes to load. We consider this a feature. If a website loads quickly, someone is watching.
- Holding monthly key-signing parties, where members verify each other's PGP keys by checking passports, birth certificates, and asking personal questions that only the real person would know. Nobody answers these questions, on principle, so no key has ever been verified.
- Disabling JavaScript, cookies, fonts, images, CSS, and, after a heated vote last spring, the colour blue (fingerprinting risk).
4.Membership
To join, simply don't tell us your name. Members are known only by randomly generated handles, which are regenerated every meeting. Nobody knows how many members we have. Possibly it's three people. Possibly it's one very committed person in different hats.
Membership fees are payable in cash only, in used notes, left under a specific rock. We won't tell you which rock.
5.Contact us
You can't. If you've found this page, please clear your browser history, cookies, and cache, then think carefully about how you got here.
The address is base32 encoded to keep spammers off it.
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